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April 22nd, 2004 @ 2:00 pm

Hey everybody, I'm still alive. Yeah, I've been a bad boy and I've been letting my 'blog lay fallow while I deal with some serious shit. Ironically, I have more time to post when my life is boring and you're probably not interested in that stuff. Now that I'm extremely busy, I don't have the will or the time to explain everuthing. Suffice it to say that I feel like I'm caught in a vice and some guy wearin' a GW mask is tightening the crank.

Good news: I'll be moving out soon.

Bad news: I still don't have a full time job.

I plan to get by by doing freelance on the side until I can lang a full time gig. I think money will be tight for the foreseeable future, but I've got a lotta irons in the proverbial fire, so hopefully something will come through. I haven't been doing too much unnecessary spending, so I have some cash saved up from my part time job. I've had a lot of interviews lately and I think things are looking up, but I still have to vacate my present abode ASAP. I'm looking for something in Minneapolis or St. Paul so it is centrally located. I'm kinda hoping for something in the southern half of the metro area, but I ain't too picky. If you know of a good apartment in the area please let me know.

Oh, and I finally chopped up this page a bit and put the older stuff in the archive. Have fun, and be sure to visit my band's page to download some new music.


March 18th, 2004 @ 1:30 am

I don't even wanna talk about it. Oh whatever, I know, I know. I've got a blog...and this is an entry. But I just wanted to say that I'm not going to tell you what's on my mind. So there.

I suppose you think I should bare my soul here on the internet in front of everyone. Well screw you! That's crazy! Give me some privacy, you bastards! I can't take all this pressure! You're smothering me; leave me alone!! Aaaaaaiiiiiigh!!!


March 10th, 2004 @ 12:30 am

Just to let you all know, yes I am still alive. I'm sure some of you were concerned. Oh feel the love!

Anyway, not too much to report, or not much that I feel like explaining. Just the usual woes, and the same old false hopes. Hey, whatever gets you through, right? I guess I'll do the same song of the moment thing again. This time it's Still Frame by Trapt.

Another cool song, although it's not relevant, is Hackensack by Fountains of Wayne. It's one of the prettiest songs I've ever heard. Reminds me..of... ... :) Good times. Sad times.

Well, not much I can say right now. I'm cat-sitting. Not at the moment, but over the next few days. It's a duty I take seriously, and shit, cats are fun. Cats can be devious little bastards, though. Anyway, much love, gotta run.


February 26th, 2004 @ 12:05 pm

Did you hear that Howard Stern has been suspended by Clear Channel for being a "vulgar, offensive, and insulting" loudmouth. Well duh. Everybody knows that. I think it's obvious that Clear Channel is reacting to the FCC & the public wave of outrage following the Janet Jackson breast thing, which I commented about earlier. Come on folks. Clear Channel had tuned into Howard's show before this. That would be like Hugh Hefner running up to his executive team at Playboy and yelling, "My God! Why didn't anybody tell me we've been selling pornography!!"

I still can't believe people are still upset about the boob thing. Settle down people; it's just a mammary. Who freaking cares? I guess I can't seem to find any moral outrage...except at those pointy-headed know-it-alls who think they can decide what people can and cannot see. They use the classic "Oh, but what about the children?!" line until you relent just to stop the hysteria. If they weren't on some sort of puritanical tirade they could plainly see that kids can handle seeing a breast. Heck, they probably spent the first months of their lives sucking peacefully on their mommy's breast. I expect they have only good memories of breasts.

Conversely, what I would object to my kids seeing is scenes of horrific violence. Kids don't need to see that shit! Extreme violence gives adults nightmares! But, we, as a society embrace violence even while we try to suppress sexuality. There's this whole plutonic sex & death thing that we've got going here in the USA; it's really out of balance. We can't seem to tame our dark and violent side. I think that's because we (or the powers that be) want to keep repressing us sexually, yet keep tempting us with lurid TV images. Cognitive dissonance. That's exactly what Clear Channel is doing right now. They've given us lots of free Howard, but now they yank him away to look like they're actually stern (ha!) moralists, when they are in fact smut peddlers. This tactic confuses people and makes us sleepy. And when we get sleepy we can't find the urge to fight back against the daily corporate transgressions that so completely drench our lives.

What am I saying? I guess I'm saying that it's all a bunch of bullshit. Something negative will result, such as increased censorship. Conversely, we will probably also see increased monitoring of citizens, regardless of who wins this absurd little game of chicken with our constitutional rights. Pretty soon we'll end up like Britain, completely boxed-in with "security" cameras. Who's security? Not mine, I gather. Somehow I don't think they'll let me see the tapes. Who does get to see the tapes? The lackeys of the ruling class, of course. No doubt the ruling class feels more comfortable when they can watch us discretely. You've got to see what those peasants are up to.

Okay, that's it. You asked for it: 2 songs of the day. These songs perfectly capture my feelings about those who rule us. The first song is Megalomaniac by Incubus. What an awesome, haranguing chorus. I've never even heard anybody sing like that before. The second song is All In The Suit That You Wear by Stone Temple Pilots and it's possibly the last song they will release. I've heard both of these songs today and I've thought about what they mean. .... God it's good to say that. That's not something you can say about just any song. These two songs mean something. I invite you to figure out what they mean on your own.


February 21st, 2004 @ 2:30 am

Not much to say, just checkin' in. I've got a funny clip I should be posting soon. I think we'll finally have something in the Other section. Whoa.

How are things with you? I hope everything is cool. Seems to be cool here. Word.

Okay, it's late, and I'm tired. I just wanted to say that the new Incubus albrum rocks.


February 18th, 2004 @ 1:45 pm

Sorry for the long time between entries. I got a lot of shit off my chest last time, though. I have been sick lately, which pretty much sucks when you're trying to make some coin. I'm sick today (sore throat) but I'm still going to work. Yeah, I gotta talk on the phone all day so this might be counterproductive, but what the hell. If I don't work, I don't get paid. I ain't got no health insurance, or vacation days; none of that shit. I'm a temp man. I'm the lowest muthafuckin' totem on the pole. Well, except maybe the illegal immigrants, but shit, my social security number ain't done shit for me lately.

Well, I don't just want to bitch the whole time. But I will crow about how the site looks. Everything should be thoroughly fixed now. If there are any other browser display issues, please email me. But I've tested it on a few different machines and it looks fine. It's about time. I still recommend using a Mozilla browser instead of IE. Firebird is now called Firefox, for those of you who are confused. Check it out!


February 5th, 2004 @ 12:21 am

I'm sure you are all just dying to know what I think about the Janet Jackson's boob-brouhaha. Well, maybe you aren't but I'm going to give you my opinion anyway. Firstly, I didn't see it live. I was watching the game at the bar, but I didn't really pay attention to the commercials or the halftime show, except to notice that Puffy (or P-Diddy or whatever the fuck his stupid name is) brought new levels of suckiness to a suck-filled event. God, that was a bunch of crap. I think the FCC should hold an inquiry into who let P-Diddily on stage. Nobody should have to sit through that. It was probably 90 seconds but it felt like being in purgatory for eons. I had to stare at my beer and pretend I was watching George F. Will adjusting his bowtie while talking about fiscal responsibility - that would've been more entertaining! Boo-yah! Man, political humor mixed with pop culture references?! No wonder dozens of people mistakenly visit this weblog every month!

Anyway, as implied above, I thought P-Diddily-dumb was much more atrocious than Janet Jackson's boobie. I have long wondered just where exactly America gets its priorities. Apparently it's fine for prime time TV to have grisly murders and autopsies and all the crap you see on the news and on the crime-dramas, but nudity is completely unacceptable. I found it disturbing that everyone disavowed the whole stunt as if it was the worst thing ever. It's not just the FCC; movies are the same way. The Star Wars movies, long regarded as children's movies, are full of decapitations, dismemberments, death, and even torture. And they are all rated PG. Of course, if Princess Leia had whipped out a tit and yelled, "Hey Han, get a load of this!" the movie would've been rated R. Why is this? Well, it probably has something to do the fact that the MPAA is composed of a bunch of self-hating religious nutballs. No doubt the effects of the Production Code are still being felt on the industry. Religious folk have serious issues with nudity, but with their long history of slaughtering each other they could hardly object to violent imagery, I guess.

In keeping with our ridiculous tradition of hardcore puritanism, the nation objected to a person showing her God-given body parts on TV. Apparently, God gave us these parts so we could feel ashamed of them. This is because God hates us, his chosen people. God also gave us free will so that he could also give us a big list of things not to do. Um, yeah. I try to respect people and their beliefs, but really, most religious beliefs are just stupid. Can't we just say at, "Do unto others..." and leave it at that? Do we really need elaborate dress codes (like the Mormons and their special underwear) and all these goofy rules that don't do anything but make religious people look really dumb to the rest of us? And don't get me wrong, I think God is totally rad (and really in need of money if the televangelists are to be believed), and each person should connect with Him/Her in their own way, but religious people tend to be a conformist lot. Even if they join some crazy-ass cult and walk around with a freshly-disembowled cat corpse on their head at all times (in keeping with the Word of the Prophet Mucho-Stupido, may he rest in peace), they sure as hell don't do this alone! There's always a support network of fellow morons, with whom they can share their struggles and their faith that God wants them to act like an idiot. Oh, and they're ever-so-sure that God smiles upon them, and that everyone else is misguided! This is the kicker - these people think they have somehow managed to figure out God's Divine Will when they can't even figure out that they're being swindled by a charismatic conman. The cult-leaders, of course, don't believe in this shit one bit. They just believe God is helping them con innocent morons out of their money and their self-respect.

Oh man, I could go on and on about the follies of religion for hours. But why bother? Nobody listens to anyone else anyway. We've all got our own ideas about spirituality, and some people are just fucking retarded about it and there's nothing I can do. Hmmm... well I guess I could rally the troops and slaughter the unbelievers, but I think that's been done... far too often.

Or maybe I could start my own religion, more as a joke than anything since I despise organized religion. Mine will be disorganized. Actually, I have thought about this a bit, and I've decided to call it Timitarianism. The first rule of Timitarianism is that you do not talk about Timitarianism. The second rule of Timitarianism is that you sure as hell do not mention Timianity. What is Timianity, you ask? Well, Timianity is not to be mentioned!!! So ha! Actually, Timianity is a rival sect of Timitarianism. They didn't agree with us on the subject of Tim's divinity so we had to slaughter them. And their pets. And their plants and various shrubberies. Plus, we defaced their furniture and pissed in their wells, but that was after we had killed them, so it was really more of a "fuck you!" thing. Anyway, Timitarianism is a religion based around Tim (that's me) and consisting of only one member: Tim (that's me). I've decided that the big problem with religion isn't the founders, like Jesus & Buddha, who were basically good guys. It's the followers who are a bunch of numb-nut dumb-fucks. As such, Timitarianism will die with me.

What is the point of a religion that doesn't have any followers you ask? Well, you're a moron, and you haven't been paying attention. First of all, it does have a follower: me. But since I'm also the Founder, I do a lot more foundering (er, I mean, "leading") than following. Second, it's not really a religion, it's more of a declaration of faith in myself and a method for seeking the Truth. God, of course, is not a Timitarian because he knows the Truth. Once we know the Truth we will no longer need religion (and some of us don't need it anyway - but I contend that everybody needs spirituality). So really, Timitarianism is more of a belief system, a way to interpret and understand the world, than a religion. Everybody needs some basic beliefs to base their life upon. I'm talking about really basic shit, like believing that the world is real and that the sky is up and that gravity keeps you down (and The Man!). We all build upon the basics, and everything is colored by our impressions and our unique perspective. The advantage (and disadvantage) of Timitarianism is that I am ultimately responsible. I can't blame my beliefs on anyone else (i.e. "...but Prophet Mojo-Jimbo told me that Jesus would come back in the form of a large porcupine named Brenda, whom I must immediately eat in order to be Saved!"). I don't know everything, but I know this probably confusing to many of my non-existant readers. Like the previous statement. But don't blame me; religion pretty much invented the tactic of cognitive dissonance. I'm just following their lead! :-)

All joking aside, I think everybody should have their own belief system. Oh wait, you already do. In fact, one of the biggest fallacies of religion is the idea that the followers might actually agree with each other on the majority of theological topics. Tell that to the pro-choice Catholics out there. So if they don't even agree on the basic tenants of their religion, you have to wonder why they are a part of it. Maybe because the world is lonely and religion offers oneness with your fellow followers. But there has got to be a better way. What kind of community attacks its own members for not following arbitrary and stupid rules? Don't even get me started on gay marriage. These religious nuts are the most hate-filled people on earth. You're going to tell me about God when you haven't even learned his most important lessons? As soon as Christians & other religious folk start practicing forgiveness and tolerance I might retract some of these statements. I think it's more likely that they will grow wings out their asses and set up a nudist resort on the moon. Until then, don't follow anyone. Be kind, and make your own path. You can't be a Timitarian, but if you start your own internal faith you can be cool like me. Of course, you'd also be a conformist. Oh well.


February 2nd, 2004 @ 10:36 pm

Hello, all. I'm just doing some website maintanence. This will hopefully result in a better, (i.e. "less crappy") viewing experience for you. I'm still working on the IE for Windows browser problems; hopefully this will take care of it. And if it doesn't then, I don't know what the hell to do.

In the past week or so there's been a lot going on. I was involved in a medium-sized car accident the day after my last entry. I was on my way to work (in my sister's car) when some lady in front of me started fishtailing on a narrow entrance ramp. She hit the cement and there was so much ice that all my braking made nary a difference, so I plowed into her. Minor damage to her car, but my sister's car is totalled (at least it will be when the insurance company gives the okay). She's buying a new $8,000 car. That old car kinda sucked anyway, but I didn't want to be the one to ruin it. Dammit, my car needed smashing, not hers! Instead, I had to pay $225 a few days later to keep mine running. Granted, that doesn't seem like a lot, but when you consider that it's probably 50% of the car's blue book value it starts to seem pretty crappy. At this rate the car's main source of value will be the gas in its tank. The heater doesn't work, but at least the CD player does. I've got priorities, man. Oh, and I just paid over $300 for 6 months of insurance, which, if you're not from MN, is required by law, much to my chagrin. I really hate insurance to begin with, but forcing people to buy something really pisses me off. "Oh," they say, "you don't have to drive." Oh sure, I'll just partake in our wonderful public transportation system then. If you need me, I'll be waiting in a basement for the next 10 to 20 years for the first subway train to show up.


January 22nd, 2004 @ 11:46 am

Hey ya! Not much goin' on. I just thought I'd write so you wouldn't think I was dead. I've been feeling quite "expressed" lately. I think it was good to get that rant about salsa off my chest. Okay, it's not really that, but I've been keeping busy despite only working part time. I can actually see my desk again! Apparently it's made out of wood. Who knew?

Speaking of work, I'm busy applying for a lot jobs. I hope something will come up soon. I'm getting quite sick in working in the ol' call center. I think it's improved my phone skills a lot, though. I could probably cold-call the pope and convince him to send me money. There are adverse affects, however; I catch myself about to launch into my standard greeting when I answer the phone at home now. God, it's taking over my brain!!

Other than that I'm just working on various music-related things. I'm still sorting through all the MP3s I got at the last LANparty in November. Yeah, I got a lot. I've also got a shitload of new CDs (burns, mostly) to listen to, and rip the good tracks from. Besides that I've been doing some recording; getting some acoustic demos down for my mates to listen to. Just blurbs, mostly. It's all good in the hood. Oh, and it's my birthday in two days. I'm expecting virtually no presents. Ah well, the only things I want are rent money and car-repair money (which I will soon need as the frigid cold is killing my car at an alarming rate). Not very gift-y. Well, I will try to write more often. I can't believe I feel responsibility to keep up a blog that nobody reads. Maybe I need to chill out.


January 11th, 2004 @ 11:24 am

I don't know if you noticed, but I started adding the time to my blog entries. This way I can post several times a day without confusing things. This also encourages all you internet wackos out there to check back here obsessively. Speaking of that, my birthday is coming up soon, so make sure you finish up those huge, overwrought gifts that've you've been spending countless hours on, okay?

You all know I'm kidding, of course. I know very well that nobody actually reads this 'blog. I can check my web stats, ya know. Of course, it's not like I've been a consistent blogger or anything, and it's not like I've even advertised my site. A few of my friends stumbled on it, and I was like, "what, you actually go to my website periodically? Psycho. Stay away!!" Or not. Actually, though, I was quite surprised. It means I'm not writing into a gaping void. And here I thought that the best place to keep a journal was on the internet where everybody is too busy looking at porn to care. I figure if I wrote stuff down on a secret diary people might actually see the book and be curious. This way, I was sure, nobody would give a rat's ass. Then I found out my mom was reading my blog. The horror. The HORROR! I saw an Onion article about it recently, and it hit a little too close to home, as they often do. Anyway, that was a while ago; maybe she's moved on to more stimulating ventures like dusting the blinds.

I keep ragging on my blog's lack of excitement for good reason, methinks. I don't read blogs. None except Tom Tomorrow's, that is. And his is a political blog; there are very few rants about the poor quality of American salsa.

Okay, you asked for it. I'm declaring jihad on crappy American salsa. Having tasted the real thing down in Mexico I realized that I can never go back. The only salsa you can buy up here in MN is that corporate sludge that has no taste. It's always labelled as "SUPER-MEGA CHUNKY" or "SO MANY GODDAMN CHUNKS YOU'LL FUCKING HORK!!!" This is, at least, true advertising. There are so many chunks of crap that you can't even fit them on a regular sized chip. That's probably why they started making those huge corn ships that are about 18 inches long. Anyway, my point is this: FUCK CHUNKS! Give me some goddamned flavor! Where's the spice! I bought a "medium" salsa the other day and it tasted like fucking ketchup. No wonder salsa has surpassed ketchup as the condiment in this country; nobody can tell the fucking difference! And, before you ask, I could not find a "Hot" or at least "Medium-Warm" salsa anywhere; that's why I went with that godawful medium shite.

You may be concerned about war or terrorism. Fuck that; why can't we get some decent salsa up north. That's my biggest concern. Okay, I'm kidding, but it really does bother me. Salsa in Mexico (at least the stuff I had) comes in two flavors: Hot and Burn Your Tongue Off. I prefer the latter. And the chunks that were in there were chunks of flavor and spice! Oh sweet rapture! It was excellent. The Mexicans puree their salsa so it's smoother, with smaller chunks that you don't have to cut up with a knife or worry about choking to death on. And God I love the flavor; it makes me feel alive! My friends make fun of me for being obsessed with Ceasar dressing and A1 sauce, and stuff like that, but I don't limit myself to those kinds of flavors. I like anything that has kick to it and a pleasing flavor, which is admittedly a very subjective thing. Suck the marrow out of life, that's what I say. And then gnaw on the bone to see if you missed any flavor. When I was a kid I used to grab a box of Macaroni & Cheese and rip open the cheese packet and just eat that. Screw the noodles. I only ate those (dry and uncooked) so my mom would buy more. Damn, if I could buy those cheese packets in bulk...

Anyway, this rant does have a happy ending, because there is one place where you can find good salsa. I haven't seen it in the stores yet, but Chipotle has excellent salsa. Their hot sauce doubles as salsa. Put some in your burrito or just have it with some of their chips, which are, I might add, authentic Mexican-style. I've been obsessed with Chipotle for awhile now, and given the lines that form at lunchtime downtown so is everybody else. Pretty soon it'll be a lame, omnipresent corporate chain, but I don't care as long as the food stays good. If they show up on every street corner like Subways and Starbucks, more power to'em. I'm willing to accept that in order to have good salsa in Minnesota. They say eating spicy food makes you happy. Damn straight.


January 11th, 2004 @ 2:05 am

I hope you're okay with the fact that this site is in a shameful state of disrepair. I'm catching up man, I swear. I've finally got time to do all the stuff I couldn't do during school. There was an awful lot I put off, but now I'm slowly getting to all of it. Work still takes up a big chunk of my day, but that's to be expected.

I went to see Lord of the Rings: Return of the King today. Pretty good flick; apparently there were elves in it. Haha, just kidding. Yes, I'm a geek, so I've read the book and I was thoroughly put off by the ending (which was sappy and not nearly as cool as the book). Otherwise, it had some of the most amazing battle sequences that I've ever seen. A tolerable acting job from Bernard Lee (Theoden) this time around helped, as did the ever-inspiring presence of Miranda Otto (Eowyn). How many ways can I say this? Eowyn is hot. Eowyn is really freakin' hot. Hot blonde chicks killing demons makes me hot. Life is good.

Anyway, I promised to say more about Cancun. Mexico is on my mind once again because a good friend of mine just went down there. She's going to Cozumel. I'm so damn jealous. But, I probably don't need any more sun just yet. I've pretty much recovered from my incredible sunburn-of-doom, but the skin on my ankles is still peeling. This process has been quite fascinating, such as when I took a shower and noticed that some sort of translucent slug-like lifeform had attached itself to my leg. It turned out that my skin was filling with water, forming a 3-inch long sack of water underneath the layer of dead skin on my ankle. It was a tad disturbing.

But enough about that. Mexico is like some sort of dreamland. It was in the 70's for Christmas. As a Minnesota boy, this is just weird. When we were first descending through the clouds on our final landing approach, I thought we'd somehow found heaven. The clouds were just perfect that day; spaced well enough so you could see the ground below. And as we got closer to the ground it became clear that the vegetation is incredibly thick. You literally cannot see the ground at all. There's so much green, leafy life everywhere; trees, vines, bushes. But there probably isn't much for grass because the light can't penetrate through the canopy above. If you wanted to cut directly through the forest you'd need a machete and a lot of time. It would probably take all day to get a couple miles.

The Mexicans present a wonderful, Fantasy Island-style face to the tourists, but you don't have to go far to see the crushing poverty of those folks who aren't getting exorbitant taxi fees out of tourists. Whether in the city or in the country (well, "jungle" might be a better word. Or "wilderness" or something) there are a lot of people who don't have a pot to piss in. The rundown shacks in the rural areas are the most depressing. It looked to me like people were using some corrugated metal - placed atop some stones or whatever, forming a roof - as a house. Yeah, the weather is nice all year, but still. And of course, the yards are strewn with trash, or maybe those were their possessions, I don't know. I suppose if you're poor you hold onto anything you might find in case somebody wants to trade for it. Also, there were stray dogs wandering everywhere, looking rather depressed themselves. Mind you, I only saw this side of Mexico on the way to Chichén Itzá and back. In Cancun proper life is more like that of an American (by which I mean USA; Mexicans are North Americans, too) urban center. By the way, make sure you check out the Photos page for some cool Chichén Itzá pix.

Well, if you made if this far, I suppose I can let you see the sunburn pic. Laugh if you will, but I learned a very valuable lesson: Never suntan for 3 and half hours without suntan lotion in Mexico. Even though I'm Whitey McPale I probably could've gotten away with only a slight burn in Minnesota. The sun is different in Mexico; it's activey trying to kill you. In Minnesota the sun tries to kill you by withholding its mighty heat. Really, there's no excuse, though. I don't know why I did it. Maybe it's the only thing convincing me that Cancun is a real place. Anyway, that's enough for now. Until next time....


January 5th, 2004 @ 2:07 pm

I'm back after much adventure. I must admit that I abandoned Minnesota, this great frigid wasteland (today's temp: -2 degrees Fahrenheit), during the holidays and made my escape to greener pastures. I went to Cancun with my family for about 5 days. I'm still not sure Cancun actually exists. It could all be a big scam, like Total Recall or something. It certainly feels like some vivid dream now that I'm back in the states, in fucking Minnesota no less. God, what a horrible place. Okay, no, I love Minnesota, it rocks as a state, and the people here are cool and generally won't steal your camera out of your luggage, but that's because the winter is a killer. Nobody's going to take the time to rifle through your luggage, or even say "hi" to you on the street because every time you expose flesh you run the risk of frostbite and/or death. People here actually spend large amounts of time sitting in a frozen hut on the ice while drinking beer and fishing. I'm related to a lot of them.

Anyway, I have a lot of shit I want to talk about. I probably won't get to all of it. I have to leave for work soon. I'll talk about Cancun (and my my spectacular sunburn) more later. If I think too much about it today I'll get really depressed and try to kill myself with an icicle....which would actually be pretty easy. The hard part is avoiding the ice-death route. It's so cold out I'm worried that the entire atmosphere might just spontaneously freeze and fall out of the sky in bathtub-sized chunks, crushing us all instantly. That's why I keep a blowtorch on me at all times....well, that and the other reason, which (ahem) I won't go into here.

I told myself I wouldn't be "that guy." You know. Him. Yeah. Okay, I'm being vague; I'm talking about the blogger who has a song for every day, every mood, every-goddamn-moment of his stupid life. Shit, it's not that I don't have enough songs to cover every second of my life; I've got more MP3s than Jesus (fun fact: Jesus only had a 5 gig iPod). But I don't want to give the impression that my moods or life can be condensed to a few choice tracks. Far from it; yet, today and yesterday really can be summarized by one song. It's title pretty much captures my state of mind: "Blurry" by Puddle of Mudd. So, listen to it if you want to know what I'm feeling. But, ironically, right now I'm listening to Praga Kahn. Go figure. Anyway,I'm really confused about a lot of things, and otherwise distracted from....what was I talking about? Well, I got really drunk on Saturday night with some of my favorite people, and all I did on Sunday (that would be yesterday) was sleep off my hangover, look for a job, look for a place to live, and sleep some more.

Anyway, I hope all of this explains my this site is such a goddamned mess. I didn't know that it was completely fuct on Windows Internet Explorer. This is probably because I don't care much about Windoze and all that crap; I'm a Mac user and as such I use a browser that actually renders pages properly. Gasp! What a concept! But since Microsoft has crushed the competition so thoroughly (and illegally) on that platform, there's no real incentive to make their crap work. Why bother when they can make the rest of make our site work on their browser. Of course, there really is no excuse because this webpage does work on the Mac version of Internet Explorer. But apparently the Windows IE is a rancid pile crap which does not feature tabs, pop-up blocking or other necessary features. Anyway, sorry to bitch, but I'm not sure if I can get this thing to look right without a complete redesign. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. In the meantime, I urge you to try a non-crappy browser, like Mozilla Firebird. I'm sure most of you are stuck with IE, though, for a variety of reasons, so I'll do my best to "fix" this site. I'll be back.


December 18th, 2003

Hello and welcome to my personal site. You are now reading my blog, which automatically makes you cool.

Graduation draws steadily nearer. It is now just hours away. I will soon have a second degree, to complement my degree in English from St. John's University. The first one didn't get me too far; let's hope the second one is more useful. I certainly feel like I learned a lot; more than I thought I would, really. I still feel there's a lot to learn. You can never really stop and say, "Okay, enough learning; I'm done." Especially not in this field. Multimedia and Web Design changes so fast that my degree is probably obsolete and it's not even in hand yet. Still, I hope to get a good job with it and then expand and refine my skills over the years. I guess I'm feeling pretty optimistic. I was feeling pretty damn "excited" earlier. Wow. You never know what the future holds.

Oh, and for those who are interested, I have updated the Photos section with some new images...and you can actually click on the thumbnails to see a larger version!! Wow! I really spared no effort for you guys. Christmas is coming, so please get me that special gift that really says you care: ca$h.


December 13th, 2003

This thing is finally online, live and open to the public. No pushing please; come one, come all. Ain't it beautiful folks? Ain't the internet grand? So long as it works and doesn't enslave us to it, I suppose. But that's a question for another day. Today is the day I'm getting all my loose ends tied up and preparing for graduation, which is on the 19th, if you're interested.


December 13th, 2003

Well, I got through it. I handed in my final stuff for Adv. Image Manip and my portfolio class. Looks like I've got a little more time for portfolio stuff, so I'll work my ass off tomorrow (Sunday) as well. I took today off - from schoolwork. I jammed with Matt and Ben for hours today. We had a pretty good practice. Matt and I laid down a few tracks. Nothing outstanding, but at least we've got a version of Én Fuego on "tape" now. Actually, it's on my computer, which desperately needs to be backed up so I can install 10.3 from scratch and not mess around with this shit. I'm currently downloading the latest patch for ProTools because it does not work with 10.3.1. I really need a new hard drive. A nice 120 gigger would do me wonders. Anytime you deal with audio or video, you need a shitload of freespace, no matter what. It's just the way it is.

Right now I've got one book on my mind, and it's calling to me like a wolf in the night. Actually, it's the new Stephen King book, Wolves of the Calla. It's the 5th Dark Tower book, and it's quite good. If you've ever seen Seven Samurai you know the story, but it gets pretty deep into the characters and setting of the Dark Tower realm so you don't even notice it, mostly. It's easy and fun reading and I'm almost done. I've got like 60 pages to go; it's the final showdown. I think I might have to leave you all and go read it.


December 10th, 2003

It's Judgment Day. No, not that one; get back here. All the prayers in the world won't stop this one. I have to present my final portfolio tomorrow. When I say "tomorrow" I mean: in about 12 hours. There's very little time left, and I'm tired as shit. I don't have the fire that I'll need to complete this project, which is why I'm writing in this 'blog. Wish me luck, although you won't read this until it's all over and done with since this page isn't online yet. It will be once I get done with Priority Numero Uno.

I just wanted to mention that I hate Flash. I'm tired, drained, distracted and feeling hopelessness, not the gung-ho determination I was hoping for. I might have to pull an all-nighter, but then again, maybe it's not worth it. D's get Degrees, they say. But I think in this case I need a C. Anyway, I've already lost 10% of my final grade because I didn't manage to apply for 3 field-related jobs with the approval of my career counselor in time. Silly me, I was working my ass off, trying to graduate. Every waking moment for the past two weeks has been spent either working, at school or doing homework. Since I only work 4 hours a day and only go to school for 4 hours twice a week that's a shitload of homework. I think my friends are suspicious that I'm ditching them or something. They've never seen me work this hard before. Shit, I never have worked this hard before.

I guess you could say I slacked the first part of the quarter, but I had other things on my mind, such as the fact that I had no job and my bank account had less than $100 in it. So that was foremost in my mind, and then when I finally got a job a week into the quarter, I focused much of my energy on that since it was pretty demanding at first. Now that I know the ropes it doesn't take as much energy, but initially, I must say it sapped my strength. This is why I hate working and going to school at the same time. I don't like having to fluctuate between priorities like that, and work takes up a lot more time than the 4 hours I get paid for. There's getting ready for work time, there's commute time (half hour each way) and winding down from work time. I'd say it takes 6 hours out of my day. That really eats into my homework time. I'd almost rather work 8 hours and lose only a fifth of my time to pre & post work stuff. That's the dirty secret of the 40 hour work week, folks; it takes up about 10 hours a day even if we only get paid for 8.

Still, I got through this crap and I can hardly complain, since it's nice to have any relatively secure job (as secure as temp job can be) in this economy. Anyway, it looks like I will pass my independent study class, which is Advanced Image Manipulation. It's weird; there's no class time, just homework, which is to say projects. This website was one. My prof didn't seem to like it much, but I didn't design it for him, I did it for me. I have to look at the damn thing for the next few years, or however long it lasts before I inevitably redesign it. I think he's right; the rollovers are a bit weak, and I plan to change them, but I've decided against Flash buttons because not enough people have Flash installed on their system. And, as I said, I hate Flash. Still, there's nothing else like it. Oh well, I've slacked enough. It's time to jump back into Flash and finish my freakin' portfolio, if possible. I just hope I get it done in time. Thank God for DJ Shadow.


December 8th, 2003

I just had a story idea wherein Tom Selleck rules the entertainment universe. I pictured myself waking up in an alternate universe; one in which Tom Selleck decided to do the original Indiana Jones movie, and thus, Harrison Ford was never offered the role. This sets forth a chain of events which complete alters the world. Bill Clinton never becomes president, the Terminator never gets made, and thus Arnold Schwartzenegger never rises beyond Conan: The Barbarian and into superstardom. He never becomes governor either, obviously. Initially, the changes are limited to Hollywood, but they spread out like a virus, inexorably changing our world completely.

What do you think? Too cheesy? Well, duh. The idea of Tom Selleck playing the role of Indiana Jones is cheesy, but that didn't stop Spielberg and Lucas from offering him the role. What were they thinking?! What was he thinking?! I mean, come on, if Steven Spielbergo (his non-union, Mexican equivalent) offered me the role of "Guy Who Gets Hit With a Bat in Every Scene (for real)" I'd take it! This goes along with Will Smith getting offered the role of "Neo" in the Matrix. I like Will Smith, but that would've completely changed the tone of the film. Yes, I've seen Will Smith in Six Degrees of Separation and it seems he can act (better than Keanu, many would say), but he's always so damn chipper. I like Keanu's brooding, even boring, take on Neo. He made for a good computer hacker in the first one. As for the 2nd & 3rd movies, well, I don't agree with the direction they took, but it's too late to complain now.

Personally, I thought it should've been more about freeing the people stuck in the Matrix, not this "save Zion" crap. Who cares?! Talk about a stupid plot idea. It must've taken them, what, 0.3 seconds to come up with that one? The idea of mentally and physically freeing millions of people from the Matrix is a much more complex one. It would've been much more difficult to write and film, but ultimately, it would've been more rewarding, I think. They could have still included many of the new characters, like the Merovingian, but in a different way. That said, the movies weren't bad, and were even kind of thought-provoking (kind of), but in no way did they measure up to the first movie.


December 7th, 2003

As you can see below, I took an extended break from my blog. I'm aiming to start it back up again, and on a new, improved website. This one will actually be hosted on, unlike the earlier stuff, which was just on the school's server. Hopefully, I will keep it going this time and you will be able to peer into the depths of my weirdness...if you're into that sort of thing.



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